2004-02-12 - 1:00 a.m.
i've paused.
i'm looking at the color of each word about to be said and each word held back.. not like an eagle surveying the smallness of the earth.. but like rats looking up thru the sewer grate. to plan how to find tomorrow, avoid the cat penalty, and eventually follow a less charismatic game of realizing that looking up for hope is about as useful as looking down for height.
you know when you're a kid and you see your friend with a cool action figure and you say, "can i see that?.."
do you really wanna see it?.. no. u wanna grab it. u wanna touch it w/your all-seeing fingers..
and then your friend cleverly says, "you can look w/your eyes, not w/your hands.."
and so you have to bear down and say, ".. can i hold it?..(you 4-letter-word)"
isn't it understood..
isn't it understood what i want. isn't it plain the way boulders and donuts roll downhill.. aren't things apparent enough that we can stop pretending to agree to be civil.. can't we give elbow room to things that have not found rest lest they find it at the throat, mistaking it for a warm pillow.. can't we agree that driven people exist just as much as paused people desist..
can't we just fucking paint unrequited life across a public sky..
