2004-07-02 - 12:01 p.m.
i was fucking this bitch, we'll call her Smacky.. anyway, Smacky was a cheerleader.. a mix of vietkong and white.. my first gook. thankfully she didn't look like a vietkong soldier.. but her breath scorched my nose like napalm thanks to constant smoking ..and throw in some alcoholism, smooth loose tanned skin, a fucked up cropped butch powerpuff girl hair cut, anger and incoherent contradictory principles..and u have Smacky..
actually fucking Smacky wasn't all that bad.. she had hot nipples mounted on semi-hot semi-droopy tits.. her pussy was loose... but she made up for it by being somewhat slender.. i knew from the start this was going nowhere.. her breath alone stirred up enough savage memories of a certain 70-yr-old pre-calculus teacher's morning coffee & cigarette greetings to certify her untouchable.. and i'm not sure if it was the smoking or a hard knock life that aged her past her driver's license photo.. but from a good distance, she looked about 28..and from a a bad distance, about 39.. or 40.. the wrinkles around her eyes always made me feel like i was talking to my mom.. her depression and lack of expression coupled w/my thoughtfulness and semi-disgust with my choice made for long droughts of silence.. talking to her was a chore.. i had to explain everything to her.. down to the last fucking detail..
Smacky liked to fuck with a condom.. but she liked to start off pre-fucking w/o one.. yes, the bitch was dumb.. but what bitch isn't?
Smacky was a sum of parts. No one single piece of her was beautiful, but if u squinted your mental eye, she became pretty as a sum total of fucked up pieces.. the feel of her hair wasn't exactly silk and her haircut was fucked up.. though soft and tan, her skin had noticeable patches of psoriasis..
her smile was gorgeous.. while her chin was pulled back a little.... cute almond-shaped eyes overpowered by premature wrinkles that made u feel like you were talking to a beat up hooker.. her voice a mix of hot stuck up bitch and naggy house wife.. even her legs, while being skinny, still reminded me of some villager.. and her body, while looking fuckable, was loose and on the verge of becoming paunchy.. it made me angry whenever i looked at any one part of her.. angry w/disgust.. but whenever i looked at her as a whole, she wasn't that bad, and i felt somewhat relieved.. she was cute in her own way.. but i'm an observationalist..a professional observationalist..and when parts stick out..they REALLY FUCKING STICK OUT FOR ME...
one time Smacky wanted to go tanning at the beach.. something i'm not really into.. but i decided to go anyway.. we ended up lying about 5 feet from one of the hottest chicks on earth..some tanned blond hottie.. w/a great fucking ass.. but i was with Smacky..and that pretty much put things into perspective..
Smacky is my life... and that tanned blond hot bitch is my dream..
i settle because things are out of reach. and interestingly enough, each individual part of my life is ugly as fuck to stare at.. but when u squint your eyes and look at it from a disarming distance.. it's not that bad.. it's just a life... see, the moral to that story was pretty easy to catch.. i decided to make it simple today..
also
some bitch wrote a letter to me the other day telling me she loved me.. which pretty fucking much means nothing to me..
i used to fucking pine over winning the love of some bitch a long long long fucking galaxy far far away long time ago.. but then i realized how fucking simple it is to get a bitch to fall in love with you..and just as easy to change that condition.. so a bitch's love really means nothing to me now..
absofuckinglutelynothing
u love me because i tricked you into loving me.. i fucking tricked you.. how fucking pathetic is that... your love can be pulled out from under you like a fucking slapstick carpet..
i tricked you, u silly fuck.
and like any trick, it disappears when the show's over.. and the show's over and your love will be over shortly as well..
she already started dating some canadian guy..
girls care for their love like they're caring for the universe.. when all they really have in their hands is a fucking bird.. this bird has no loyalty..it's only job is to survive and cater to whoever feeds it the most..
of course you have to trick it into a cage before u can start feeding it..
