2008-06-09 - 9:41 a.m.
some people, when they write, they want to pioneer territory. they want to be the first to make a discovery.
i don't want to pioneer. i want to perfect. i don't want to do it first. i want to do it best.
... i don't know how to have a party. i don't know what one looks like.
do you wear... kljasd;klfjaskdjg;asdfkjfdasf
i can see a party. there's a guy with a party hat on. a pointy little cone with an elastic band under his chin.
and then what. he's just fucking standing there.
oh yeah and beer. wine. no. no wine. beer and tequilla. and VODKA. LOTS OF VODKA. and jello. anything with vodka and jello and the word "shot." orange juice and cranberry juice. and more VODKA. and weed. bongs and weed. and a dj. no that's expensive. a cd player. no that's old. an mp3 thinger. an ipod? i don't know.
i don't know what a party looks like.
what do you do. do you drink the alcohol and smoke the weed and listen to the music?
where is the fucking part? you can't fuck at the start of the party right? .. you can't do it in the middle, you have to wait until the party is winding down and everyone is falling asleep and the fat kid who never gets laid is resigned to sleeping next to a fat chick who's rejected him. and then you can sneak off with the drinking girl to a bedroom belonging to someone's parents.
that sounds like a party. except i don't drink. and i don't want to puff weed at a party or snort coke. i don't know what a party is. i've been to parties where people sit on a couch and wait for the party to HAPPEN.
if drinking is a party, why can't you drink at home any day of the week. why can't you puff weed any day of the week. the only thing at a party that you can't have are people. people make a party. i just figured it out.
i am going to package or manufacture party people. they will come in 20 packs for big parties and 7 or 5 packs for small parties. i'm going to make party supplies right now.
this is scorpion vodka. it has a scorpion in it. it's for partying.
this is gold vodka. it looks expensive. it was stolen from some parent's liquor cabinet. 
this is tall vodka. 
and this is a vodka family. 
here's some beer. ok i think we have enough alcohol.
this is jeff. he goes to parties maybe once a year. he is a nervous cambodian kid. he will not make a lot of eye contact. he will be awkward and wandering. he will connect various party elements by his nomadic outcast wandering from group to group.
this is tina. she will suck the cock of any cool guy at the party. she will wear something tight and will most likely have her tits sucked on at some point in the party. she will also do shots by the kitchen counter. she will yell out "parrrrrtaaaaaaay!!" at various points in the night. she will also dance a lot as she drinks more and more.
this is chris. but he'll introduce himself as bionic death. he will sit on a couch and look around. people will ask him about his hair and piercings, but he'll downplay them like a choice of toothpaste. he'll get intensely involved in a conversation with heidi about myspace backgrounds. but he won't destroy anything because he was born and raised in an affluent part of newport beach. he gets A's in geometry and has several pets without fur.
this is lars. he is on the verge of being thought of as datable. he listens to underground techno and sells weed when he's not doing part time tech support for Oreck air purifiers. he wants to fuck several girls at the party but asks questions about school and work and music. he enjoys instant messaging and airsoft guns. he will lean against something most of the night while holding a red cup in front of him.
this is chase. he will make the party cooler. he will be talking to girls most of the night. he will get drunk and fingerbang someone. he will show up on a motorcycle.
this is mike. he will see chase and walk over and high five him. no that would be gay. he will say "what's up, bro" and put his fist out to get a pound. they will not hug. mike will smoke a joint and sit with his legs apart on the couch.
this is amhad. he is black and will add forced diversity to the party. all the girls will know him and be friends with him. but he will never be caught doing anything overtly sexual even though he's black. that's ok because he's asexual and never flirts with any of the girls. he will speak in a friendly, non-threatening, upbeat tone and ask how you are doing and mention various activities he's doing in varied tones of enthusiasm.
this is sheshwan. she is the ugly friend of the hot girl. she will have a warm and caring personality masked by overt and flippantly posh cynicism. she will dress cute and exhibit faux depression over never getting the cute guy.
this is veronica. she's a bitch. she will criticize people at the party with her friend tiffany. she will start a fight and people will cheer for the othre girl. she will wear hot clothes.
this is patrick. he will tell every girl at the party they're hot. he will try to entertain them with exploits of his friend's paintball tournament. he won't get laid but will wear open toed leather sandals. he will have a large anime porn collection. he will be on ecstasy the whole night and play with his fingers.
does a party involve inebriation? do you need to be uninhibited to have a party? does a party mean breaking traditional social barriers? if one is constantly violating or breaking barriers, is one partying? does talking to more than five people equate to partying? does listening to music mean you are partying? does fucking a girl mean you are partying? does the anticipation of fucking a girl mean you are partying? does dancing mean you are partying?
partying is so confusing to me. parties are like foreign objects. what do you do with them. do you invite them or get rid of them.
if alcohol and drugs are the foundation of a good party, does that mean unrestrained activity and opinion constitute a party? if people are in a search to leave social restraints, does abandonment of social convention equate to a party? do people want or not want those restraints? are they trying to leave them selectively or inclusively? is partying an intention, a purpose or an optional activity? does the concept of social restraint matter daily or just on the weekends? is partying an outlet or a goal?
if partying weren't so exclusive to a location or hinging upon certain uninhibiting drug axioms, would partying lose its euphemism and become living?
are parties contrived to be unconventional or are they conventionally designed to be uncontrived? can a spontaneous hope be planned for?
why can't there be a party in my pants.
