2004-05-04 - 3:11 a.m.
peeing on my arm did not help..
pain often illegally influences your mind..
i feel like i'm under chinese water torture.. and they're gonna break me...and make me
scratch.
i'm learning a lot about serial killers thru poison ivy..
because while your pain is less immediate and therefore more malleable, more easily spread out amongst music, fashion, contemporary cultural events, likes, dislikes, etc.-- it can be pacified-- the serial killer's pain is a constant driving defining means that must be attended to .. and this can only successfully come about by inclusion..therefore they must include others in their suffering to give their co-existence any substantive value..otherwise their pain is regarded as a legless street going nowhere..
this is why serial killers kill..and why i have to scratch my arm eventually..
i scratched.
it looks like WWIII on my arms. i cannot tell you how much better it feels, i can only show you.
i love you beth, and amy, and derrick, and scarecrow, and tin man, and you too lion, and tommy, and aunica, and pippi, and fernando, and crippled little boys living out in the cold, and single moms, and drug addicts, and battered husbands, and broken hearted little tiny people.. i love all of you .. whoever invented ivy should be skinned, tortured, salted, skinned , re-tortured, re-salted, beaten in the face w/a glass whip, toes hammered down to little pulpy hamburgers, hit in the face with a 2 X 4, hit in the sexy parts with a bat constructed entirely from razor blades and salt licks.. kicked in the face by boots lined with nails, tortured again, and killed.
repeat for each day of itching.
