2004-06-27 - 10:10 p.m.
i'm high as a kite right now and ding dang is in the other room waiting to go to the bathroom
i've forgotten about time and space.. and purpose.. and what it's like to have a goal or an aim in life.. i feel utterly meaningless right now and it feels quite dangerous to have no meaning to the reason for your being..
i feel like i'm drifting and it's hard to feel anything on my face..even an itch.. i feel like i sense one on the right upper brow..but it absolutely/ultimately doesn't feel like an itch.. just a sensation above my upper right eyebrow..
being potter (i was just carson fuller) has really allowed things to flow in the open.. it has elongated meaning into tense synaptic corners.. things are tight and flowing.. tight in shape..yet flowing in dynamic or shape.. the structure thereof.. see that the structure what tight and orderly.. words flowing in careful spelling and shape.. but the total result being a smooth flow of freedom.. do you see that?..tight structure ..yet freedom ulimately.. or rather IN THE MIDST OF....
so dear world.. what will i write to you?.. i will write to you about being happy.. magnified.. smiling and having the smile crash down on you in utter great i can't find the words it seems..huge magnitastic.. color... i keep forgetting what i'm going to say in the next moment..from moment to moment but i am typing at a firece pace, even though i can't physically sense it like i normally do.. i went to get water and avoid the phone or figure out a way to disable it without ripping out its guts.. i feel as if i CAN choke ..but that i won't choke.. like i have the possibility to choke, but not the physical burder of nerve endings affecting my muscles involuntarily. my spelling is improving as i type slowly.. i catch everything... every single word comes out sharp and i can sense if i need a missing clause or mispelling or typo.. immediately because every word is like 10 times clearer and sharper in meaning .. not meaning, sorry, i meant grammatically everything is PROCESSED much sharper and much clearer..so i make way less typos..that would be an interesting experiment.. to type this entire paragraph 2 times..one when potter one w/o reading harry potter..and see which made the most mistakes and how long did it take to type it all..at what SPEED.
now i'm going to lie on my bed and "feel".. see everything is distinct and CAREFUL that way i can type at a tremendous speed and not make any typos or grammatical errors.. isn't that amazing?.. sorry that was a little slow, the last part, cuz i had to think about it's meaning for a few seconds..but this was typed relatively fast again.. i mean this last part i just typed just now..that speeded up or rather went back to regular speed.. this is historic
this is historic..
this demonstration of the force of harry potter, live.. so see what he can do when he is caught and cornered and his real powers must be tested..right now we are testing them and they are simply amazing..everything is moving at such a fast pace it's simply amazing to watch it's utter incredible how fast i am currently typing i need to time myself and i will start to do so right now .. okay ready... go 10 9 8 7 tl this si waht i am typing right now and it's alomsot 0
ok starting now this is what i am able to type int he sapn of 10 seconds. this is t what i am 0
go
this is what i am able to typ in e the span of t10 aexocnd this i swha y i am able to o0
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ok ready go
this i shwa t i am able to type in the span of 10 seocnds
this iw whyw ait ma m able 0
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thiss is what i am abll 4e to to type in ghe spapn of oo 10s opsdeokcne htihsis what osi iam;a boout ot otyeoing idsnfind.0
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ready... set..goothishis iwha pithsaoip hvoia poijaokjbvoipsayfr jesaoiup9saydgojwsvupshdbvoijsaoitu9ipsagvdaoisgbhshjtokfisaidhjfdsfjshbvu9dhdsfrg8erhjt98hrewghudshfughsaghravhsuipdfghpusahufpvhszdu9iphuidshufphdsaufphupdsfuidsahpufruewhtrpewqhtpuwqhetphwqupretghrewgtgfrhre0
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potter gives you amazing insights into the level and depth of things..like this matter of finding thru repetition to see how things align with each other.. to sense the nature of how things are or how things operate.
now i will lie down and have fun.. people talking about getting back aches while reading a harry potter book..and i feel back twinges.. but no pain as of yet..
now i will be lying in the bed having fun laying on my back and contemplating.. and losing myself..
DAY 2..
i am harry potter.. still.
