2003-10-16 - 8:30 p.m.
i was going in to the car dealer to get this light turned off on my dashboard..
it turns out it costs around $2,500 just to have that light turned off.. but me being such a perfectionist, i had to turn it off.
..so i'm waiting there for them to turn the stupid light off.. i decide to take a walk and find a place to sit and read something.. but along this entire street are car dealerships.. i decide to walk thru the car lot to the back, hoping there might be a fence to hop over or some quiet place.. but then this car dealer guy sees me and comes over and shakes my hand..and i shake his hand.. and he says am i looking for something.. and i don't want to explain to him that i'm just looking for a transcendental location to escape the sounds of cars.. so i tell him yes.. and he says, "so what kind of car are you looking for?"..and he starts getting a happy look on his face..
okay i guess i should pause here and let you know what my favorite sexual fantasy of all time is..it's not 3 girls at once.. it's not knee high socks and bikini cut cotton panties (that's my 2nd favorite)..
it's resolution.
when things resolve themselves from a place of conflict/tension to a place of order and completion.. like if a car guy has to sell cars..and his lot looks empty of potential customers..and he's hoping to make a sale.. and i'm a guy who needs a new car.. and i can't quite find the right bargain..and if we somehow meet amid all the bad deals and job layoffs and consumer ripoffs and sales quotas... and there's that spark, that magical chance that resolution might somehow occur.... that's sexy.
so he's looking at me with expectation...and i want to just go find a quiet place to sit down and not look at anything or hear anything..
so i end up going on a grand car tour.. sports cars first.. i'm introduced to the car in "The Fast And The Furious".. and then some luxury cars..and then finally an SUV.. and at each car we stop to look at, i try to feign interest and let my desire grow until the last car he shows me, i know i'm going to end up buying.. i finally settle on the SUV w/the 4 wheel drive and the mile long list of options w/the 3rd row backseat and off white exterior paintjob..
if i was a millionaire and had money to throw away, i would have bought the car right on the spot, just to make him happy.. but the best i could do was offer to return tomorrow with my wife (the one in the mail-order catalogue), and we'd take it for a test drive and most likely buy it.. that's the best resolution i could offer.
when push comes to shove, i'm more diplomatic than a Disneyland brochure.
