2009-01-23 - 11:16 a.m.
some girl i met at the store emailed me today:
On Fri, Jan 23, 2009 at 10:45 AM, Tina wrote:
Thank you for your editing/minor corrections. If this homework prompt keeps on getting edited, copied, and repasted with you correcting as far as your convictions have to offer, I might just start hoping for some kind of teacher/student roleplay.You asked for two things. I'm going to oblige and go ahead and give them to you. Do not abuse the first thing. But do cherish the second.
1) 760-***-****
2) "You handsome devil," she said,
As she licked her full lips in delight
Now it starts, this ignition of fear
Maybe she will run away
And come close to shedding tears
Full of sad, bitter remnants of remorse
That once trailed down your way.
Slowly it seems she is silent and sure,
And wanting of your sense of security
Strongly folded around her weakened shoulders.
She wants it now, as you search for answers-
In eyes that fade from blue to gray.
How enchanting it seems that if it weren't but
for the moment it all falls into place,
As you take her by the waist and
Make her feel safe.
Now she is waiting for you to succumb,
For those empty years of tolerance to
Come tumbling down, and for you to admit;
You are weaker now that one thing stands
In between you and fate.
That once handsome pursuit you so claimed
Is now arriving as a dusty waterfall unto yourself.
How can it be, all she has to do is stare,
Lock your eyes on the same prize over and over again
The distance you can taste with your hands,
As you reach out for the figure you longed for,
And now she is gone.
Silly hatred, for all it seems
Has given way to several instances of the demeanor
the ones you called but unworthy
now mock the best, or so-called elite.
But you did not fathom it, did you?
Are you not glad you satisfied that lusty longing?
That sweet, intricate call for passion
--A voice that never dies down and can be heard
Long throughout the night and ages.
Redeeming heart's satisfaction-
You have so little to remember her by.
Why do you let the tenderness go?
That smooth curve of comfort engraved in your touch
Is a tease to the temper of the innocent.
"My love," you say to her soft disposition,
"I am fond of our excursions and it deeply,
Truly, evermore disheartens me that one day,
After the stars no longer pass down the sun's highway,
And I feel cold and empty- you may not care,
You may not be there.
And that, my darling,
Is hard to bear."
then now it comes out like proof
And you smile to yourself in hearty satisfaction,
Leaning once more towards the light,
Kissing her gently on that soft, familiar cheek.
You know what it feels like now.
Your dreams are still existing in soft, repetitive beats.
Yet, all that seems so trivial
As you hold her in a little closer to you now,
And then it is more apparent
It is no coincidence as she smiles into your eyes
And you met like a hot, shining silver smoke
No wonder what meaning those people have said,
"Instead of hate, love prevails instead."Try to keep dry and warm today.
keeds:
1) you'll be lucky if i pick your face out of a crowd
2) i don't cherish mediocre work; you have a desire to write which is good. but you're unconditionally in love with your writing which is bad.
when fat chicks chase bowls of ice cream, they're rewarded with a euphoric sugar coma that, strangely, they can see. and a belly that, strangely, they can't see-- this is your writing. in order to wake up from your coma, you first need to understand what constitutes good writing.. you need to see yourself in a mirror.
i think you have the potential to write well because you're thoughtful [now that we didn't bang, i can tell the truth: it sucked ass.] and that's 99% of writing-- learning how to arrange the furniture that's already in your living room. the actual writing is the easy part.
[inserted link to something i wrote]
p.s. good writing doesn't ask for cherishing. it will, of its own nature, be cherished.
btw, if you're gonna make me sound like a teacher, at least put on a catholic school girl outfit and drop a pencil or 2..
